Nonverbal communication is defined as behaviours or aspects of ourselves, other than spoken language, that help communicate something important in a social interaction (Feldman et al., 1991). These behaviours and aspects of ourselves can be any number of characteristics or actions; it includes things as small and specific as facial expressions to how we are standing, and may even include what we are wearing (Harrison, 1973).

Nonverbal communication is meaningful for our understanding of social situations as what is verbally communicated. In fact, it is sometimes said that we derive more meaning from nonverbal communications than we do verbal communications (Philipott, 1983). Just as importantly, when there is an incongruence between what is communicated verbally and what is communicated nonverbally, people are more likely to believe the messages delivered nonverbally (Burgoon & Bacue, 2003).

In addition to it being important to be aware of the ways that we communicate nonverbally, being skilled in effective nonverbal communication is associated with many positive outcomes such as having more satisfying and higher-quality relationships and better physical and mental health (Riggio, 1992). People who are effective at both expressing themselves nonverbally and interpreting other people’s nonverbal behaviours tend to have higher self-esteem, be more effective communicators, be more flexible, and have greater social awareness (Burgoon & Bacue, 2003).

Let’s look at some broad categories or types of nonverbal communication (LaFrance & Mayo, 1978):

Nonverbal communication can include how we say things: our tone of voice, speed of speaking, the pauses we take or don’t take, and how loud our voices are. Consider the sentence “Sure, I’ll do that.” If you say it with the tone of your voice going up at the end of the sentence, it communicates a positive feeling about what you’re being asked to do. If your tone goes down at the end of the sentence, it kind of communicates the exact opposite! If you draw out the first word – “suuuuurrre” – people might perceive that you are uncertain about committing, and if you use a sarcastic tone of voice, people will know that while you might do what they asked, you won’t be happy about it.

Nonverbal communication also includes how oriented we are in space to the other person. Imagine trying to console somebody from the opposite corner of the room, or telling somebody across the table that you love them without looking up from your phone. How close we stand to each other, whether we fully face each other, how much eye contact we make – all of these actions send nonverbal messages.

Perhaps no nonverbal communication is more important to our interpretation of what others mean than facial cues; in fact, people routinely derive more meaning about “what that person really meant” from their facial expressions than from their body language or even the tone of their voice (Rosenthal, 1979).

A primary example of nonverbal communication is communicating emotions not through what is spoken but through the facial cues, and to a lesser extent the bodily cues, that come out in the situation (Planalp, 1998). In fact, sometimes nonverbal communication tells us everything we need to know, rendering verbal communication extraneous.

Nonverbal cues of happiness, such as smiling, laughter, and a bright and resonant voice, are more common than verbal expressions of happiness (Ekman & Friesen, 1969; Shaver et al., 1987). Conversely, rather than say it out loud that we are angry, we may frown, smile less, turn away from other people, speak in a monotone, and decrease eye contact (Ekman & Friesen, 1969; Shaver et al., 1987).

It is important to pay mindful attention to your own and others’ nonverbal communication. It offers powerful insight into the emotional reality of whoever is communicating. You might find that this mindful attention helps you better understand the emotions people are experiencing, including your own.